'Y'all only let me buy the SUV so I could be your errand girl': 28-year-old mom exposes her parents' scheme after they stop giving her gas money to drive her teen brother to school, revealing a larger family drama

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  • I refuse to run errands for my parents anymore

    Hey guys! I {28f} have absolutely had it with being used by my parents. So a bit of context: I live very close to my parents. I have two children under the age of 6 and a husband. My husband
  • works abroad, so most of the time it's just me and my littles. I work from home and I work 8 hours a day for four days a week. We do well for ourselves. A few months ago, my car decided it was going to have engine problems and just sh out on me.
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  • So while I was shopping around for a replacement, my father decided to help me out with a used car that him and my mother owned. It's an SUV very spacious. And honestly. they weren't going to be using it anymore
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  • considering my father takes the company car home from his job. Not only that but they were finally gonna fix their Nissan for my dad. Now I do need to include the amount of vehicles they have. 2 Chevys, 1 Nissan, and the SUV they gave me.
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  • Now because my father taught me responsibility I absolutely didn't want to take it for free so I bargained with my dad to help him out. They had paid $3300 for the SUV when they got it. But it needed several repairs. (2 Window regulators, side mirror, ac, etc.) A few
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  • minor things. So my dad and I agreed that I would pay $1500 for it and just promise to take care of it. Which of course I do and have.
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  • So he signed it over to me and I got it in my name immediately, insurance, tag etc. Now because I had to get the repairs done (just one regulator was almost $600 for the part and the labor cost) my dad agreed to let me do $100 a month or more
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  • depending on what I want to do that month. I agreed and handed him $500 right there as the first payment. (It's been about 4 months now and I have paid him a
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  • total of $950 out of the $1500 for the SUV.) Last month my youngest brother {15m} was at school (his school is 6 minutes from my parents house) and he got caught vaping with his buddy from school. So
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  • he got "sentenced" to alternative school which is an hour drive from my parents house. And the little friend of his that got it with him is their neighbor and his mother doesn't have a working vehicle either so the boys just go together with my
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  • mom normally. They have to be at the alternative school at 7:45 am every morning and picked up at 12:30 pm every afternoon. (This is relevant I promise)
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  • Now in the last four months I've had this SUV, my mother has used me as a personal assistant. Why you might ask? I DONT KNOW. But at first it wasn't a lot. Just little hey are you out? Can you stop by the store and grab this and bring it to me? Etc.
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  • just small stuff. And recently my grandmother had a surgery hours away so my mom needed me to pick up my brother and his friend and bring them to the alternative school for 3 days. No biggie. Of course Imom I've got you.
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  • But I did ask them for gas money. Since I was taking my brother and his friend in my car with my gas and I had just filled it up. My dad gave me 50 one time. (The SUV takes 65 to fill up and the drive to the school being an hour there and an hour back takes
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  • about a quarter and a half of my tank each trip) Still I didn't make a big deal of it since it was only 3 days. Now here's where I might be an AH. After those three days my parents have asked me to take my
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  • brother and his friend to this alternative school EVERY DAY coming up with excuses and while my dad works my mom is at home laying on the couch. Now I'm sure she gets up during the day but when I leave she's in the same spot as she is when I come
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  • back. No they have not given me anymore gas money. And on top of all of that I've had to still work, take my kids to their appointments, take them to school, etc.
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  • Gas is extremely expensive right now and we arent broke but I just don't have the extra funds to constantly be filling up my tank and not getting any help but one time.
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  • I'm so fed up and I feel like I'm being used. So WIBTAH if I just refused to run errands for my parents?
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  • Post Update Here's a update for you guys. Yesterday I asked you guys if I WBTAH if I stopped running errands for my parents. Here's what happened. So after talking to my husband and taking y'all's advice,
  • we've decided we will be paying off the SUV. It's only $550 left so it won't be a huge financial hit but it'll definitely put a dent in the bank account.
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  • So this morning, my mother had asked me again to take my brother and his friend to school. I of course said sure but I'll need gas money. Mom said oh okay well in that case I can just take your SUV for the day and fill it up for you.
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  • Now I know my mother. She is the type of woman that will run her gas tank all the way empty and waste her money on other things (cigs, clothes, etc.) before putting it in gas.
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  • She also has asked to borrow my car (the one that sh out on me) before and it had a full tank. When she took it she was gone all day, I missed a very important ultrasound for my youngest, and when I got it back it was din near on E.
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  • So I wasn't too willing to let her just take my SUV. So I said no mom. I can take them but I need gas money, otherwise he's going to have to take a bus or Uber. This is how that convo went.
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  • Mom: "Honey I don't understand we gave you gas money." Me: "Yes mama, for the three days I had to and it was only 50. You haven't given me any since and I've been taking them every day."
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  • Mom: "50 is a lot of money, you should've made it last." Me: "50 IS a lot of money mama, but that's my point. Driving H and G to school every day takes at least a quarter and a half of my tank each trip."
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  • Mom: "Okay well I'll just take it and fill it up for you then." Me: "Mama, no. I can take them just please give me gas money."
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  • Mom: "This is ridiculous." Me: "It's either you give me gas money or G is just gonna have to take the bus or an Uber." Mom: "Excuse me?!"
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  • Me: "Mama I know you. You've borrowed my vehicle before multiple times and each time it goes from a full tank to d in near empty and you have given me zero compensation for those times. I don't mind
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  • helping you mama, but there is a line where help becomes too much and is turning into being used. And right now I feel like you are using me. I feel like y'all only let me buy the SUV so I could be your little errand girl. It's not fair to
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  • me, my children, nor my husband. I have a job, my babies have school and appointments, and taking G and H to school is affecting our lives and my job negatively."
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  • Mom: "I'm calling your father." *Hangs up* About three hours later I get a call from my dad. Here's how that convo went:
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  • Me: "Hey dad." Dad: "Hey honey what's going on?" Me: *explains the same thing I told mama*
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  • Dad: "Well firstly, I gave her gas money to give to you multiple times. I have just had in cash and not on my card lately so I gave it to your mother to give to you every morning.
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  • Secondly, I absolutely did not let you buy the SUV to be our errand runner. And lastly, H's mama was supposed to be giving you money as well."
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  • Me: "well dad I haven't received any money unfortunately. And it's affecting my job and the kids schedule. I just can't keep driving 4. hours a day."
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  • Dad: "Okay honey. Then don't. I'm sorry. I'll get to the bottom of everything and talk to you later. You didn't take your brother today did you?" Me: "No sir."
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  • Dad: "Good, ttyl honey." As of right now, as far as I know from gathering info from my brother, Dad said that G would be paying for an Uber by working for my dad for the whole summer. He
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  • won't be getting to do anything but work this summer. As for H, he will also be working for my dad the whole summer. Honestly I think some good honest work would be good for the both of them.
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  • Mom had a meltdown because Dad found out she was pocketing the money and she won't tell him where it's at. As of right now I don't have any extra info on that part.
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  • And my dad has decided that instead of paying the last $550 it's considered PAID OFF. Woohoo!
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  • So that's all I have for you guys, I appreciate all your help and comments and helping me grow a shiny new backbone ☺
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